IN THE CURRENT MAGAZINE

I am convinced that the book Alcoholics Anonymous is correct when it says that “Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.” Selfishness is a spiritual malady, a spiritual problem rooted deeply in my being. I consider or evaluate everything by how it affects me. My fears are self-centered. A lot can be written about selfishness. It is enough to say that it is what causes my problems.

I could not go on. I had to change. And one of the many promises of the 12-Step program is that I will change fundamentally, if I work the tools of the program.

I came to Sexaholics Anonymous 4 years ago. Before that I had no idea I was an addict. Daily suicidal thoughts were the last straw. After acting out I didn’t feel good; I just felt strong pain and had no idea what to do or how I could help myself. I was praying that God would give me the way out from my obsession.

I arrived in SA in 1999 under dire circumstances following a long period of compulsive poor behavior involving few other people but leaving devastation within my own family. I did not discover the extent of the devastation until many years later after engaging in the SA program wholeheartedly.

We hear a great deal about change in the fellowship. Our Serenity Prayer talks of having the “courage to change.” In our early days, sober members talk to us about having the “willingness” to change. But what exactly is change, as it relates to the fellowship and sobriety?

“Meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings…” That’s what they told me. “Just keep bringing the body”- preamble to the Eighteen Wheeler. At the end of the meetings I attend we gather in a circle, hold hands, and say together, “keep coming back it works if you work it and you’re worth it.”

Courage to Change—something that I wasn’t capable of before coming to the program. I was the one who never said ”no” to anyone—I had to prove my worthiness by doing anything anyone wanted me to, and by helping people while forgetting to take care of myself.

I am Lina, SA, sober since 2010, Mexico City. I was born in 1968. I only stopped taking a bottle when I was 6 years old. As a result, I was the subject of mockery at home. I remember my house made of tin, and a dirt floor; we had scarce resources and many financial needs. I was the last of 8 siblings in addition to being a girl with a stomach disease.

I started coming to Sexaholics Anonymous at the beginning of 2019. I had experience in other recovery fellowships, so I already trusted the 12-Step approach. Thanks to AA, my father got sober for the first time in his life in 1995, and even though he had relapsed before he passed away, I already knew for sure that the Program worked.

How does one become an oldtimer? It is very simple. Stay sober one day at a time, and do not die. Everything else is detail.