2009

Originally published in ESSAY, December 2009

For the past 25 and-a-half years, my life and my recovery have been interwoven with Roy’s. I was first introduced to the concept of sobriety through the SA brochure that he had written. Over the years this man was always available to talk to me and share with me his experience, strength, and hope of recovery. Roy would never be too busy to help mentor and mediate those of us in Nashville when crises or stresses would occur about the program.

Here in Nashville, two of us became sober prior to the writing of the White Book. Our sobriety was based on the original SA brochure. We waited anxiously for those articles that Roy would write. When they came, they were single 8 1/2 by 11-inch sheets, usually typewritten on front and back. I remember that we would put these sheets in loose-leaf binders creating our own books. We were so relieved when the first edition of Sexaholics Anonymous (i.e., the “White Book”) was published. Roy sent this first book out from his garage office. The original books were 8 1/2 x 11-inch soft paper, with gray paper covers.

How unbelievable it is to watch, when God is in the equation, what can develop from just an idea in a man’s mind. Roy had an idea for developing a Twelve Step program to help people recover from sexual addiction. Needless to say, no one except possibly his wife will ever know the amount of time and work Roy devoted to giving us what we have today. Here I am, a recipient of his God-given idea. Roy would not only share his progress in recovery but would always share his weaknesses too. He taught me that sharing from my weakness was a tool of recovery that I could never minimize.

In thinking about Roy’s passing, I was inspired by the awesomeness of it all. It is awe-inspiring to know that one man can so positively affect the lives of so many people with God’s help. Through Roy, God has been able to keep me physically and spiritually alive through my recovery in Sexaholics Anonymous.

Roy gave us the example of the influence we can have on those around us. All we have to do is stay sober one day at a time—using the Steps, trusting in God, and helping others—and we too, with God’s help, can positively influence the lives of people around us as Roy did. Roy was a living example of God’s miracles that can be reflected in our own lives.