Originally published in ESSAY, March 2016

My natural tendency is to vacillate between pride and shame. Maybe I hit moments of humility somewhere in between. It occurs to me is that both pride and shame are dishonest states of being, while humility is completely honest. That’s why I can slip into a false humility quite easily, because it is dishonest and still being prideful. It’s still about me, and not about God and others.

When I see myself honestly as who and what I really am, particularly in relationship to God and others, I can then practice humility in how I think about and act toward others. Without that honesty, I can’t imagine having true humility.

When I see myself honestly in relation to God, I realize that I am of great worth to Him because of how He chooses to love me and extend His grace to me. It’s about Him and not about me. I need not be ashamed when I honestly look at myself, even with my wrongs and real guilt, because I believe that I am loved, forgiven, and accepted. This belief in God’s inherent goodness not only keeps me from living in shame, but it allows me to even begin to have humility, because it is all about Him and others, and not about me.