Chapter 5 of the Big Book tells us that honesty is a prerequisite of recovery. What does honesty mean for me? If I lie to you, even if I know the truth inside, I’m not being honest. Why? Because my outside doesn’t match my inside truth.

In my addiction my inside never matched my outside. Inside I did not want to act out, but I did anyway. In recovery I could not get sober till my insides and outsides matched. For years I was unhappy about college (inside) but carried on in that college anyway (outside). Once I “acted out” my inner truth by quitting college, I got sober.

The same is true for many things I want or don’t want. If I don’t carry out these things I am endangering my sobriety. My Higher Power loves me and therefore wants me to be happy. As an incentive He makes my sobriety dependent on that. I get happy by not suppressing my inside wishes.

Many times fear will stop me carrying out what I really would like to do. Today, thanks to the Steps I have tools to deal with the fear. Other days I’m not sure what I really want inside. Here, prayer to my Higher Power for clarity and a call to my sponsor or another member help me immeasurably. Being ‘me’ on the inside and on the outside is the key to honesty and my recovery today.

Wishing you all much happiness and the courage to ‘act out’ your honesty.

Love,