In May 2012, I found SA and became very curious about how the program worked. I got a sponsor right away, and she told me that one way to get myself out of my head—to stop thinking of myself—was to become involved and be of service. She suggested that I do things such as getting to the meetings early to help set up, staying late to help clean up, and staying for business meetings. She told me to look for small ways to be of service in the program. Even though I had no desire to do any of these things, I listened to her. For one thing, she was the one with years of sobriety, and I had only a few days.
One Sunday afternoon, during a face-to-face meeting, someone announced that an Intergroup meeting would be held after the meeting. I had never heard of an Intergroup meeting, so I wanted to attend one to learn more about it. The Intergroup Chair and I were the only two members in attendance that night.
I thought it was sad that more people weren’t involved in serving this Twelve Step program that has helped so many. I also felt dismayed that the Chair faithfully met each month to have these meetings—alone! So I decided I would attend the meeting each month to support the Chair.
At the time I did not know I was doing service. I really thought I was just being nosy. However, my sponsor and other members of the program who had good recovery told me to continue to attend and be of service.
Hence, I attended Intergroup meetings for many months, and I would return to my home group with announcements from the Intergroup meeting. During a business meeting in June 2014, a member nominated me to be the group’s Intergroup representative. Not only did I meet the qualifications, but I was already attending the meeting. It just made sense! So I happily accepted the position. I have continued to serve as Intergroup rep for the past eight months, and I was renominated in November 2014. During this time, I believe I have stayed sober because I am not thinking about myself as much.
This past weekend, I was very much inside of my head, feeling sorry for myself, and thinking about the injustice of my personal situation. My cry to God was “Why me?” Fortunately, I wasn’t able to stay in my state of self-pity. Do you know why? Because I had service work to do! I had to write my experience, strength, and hope about why service is needed in recovery, and that meant I had no time to wallow in my sorrows. I had work to do, and people who were counting on me.
I did not realize this beforehand, but service has helped fill a void in my life—the void of being alone. Service in the program has given me a sense of belonging, which I had been looking for all my life. Service has allowed me to get out of my head, and find people who care about me and believe in me—and who need me as much as I need them. And to think I found this all through service! So I ask you: Do you think that service is necessary for your recovery?
Anonymous, NJ