For me, lust is an attitude. It begins with a desire to covet. It is a desire to take (even if only mentally) something that is not mine to take. My acting out always begins with lust. Why? Because I am powerless over lust. I do not have the ability to control it. It’s kind of like learning how a tornado forms in the hopes that I can somehow stop it from happening. If lust is going to be removed from my life, it is God who must do the removing.

That’s why Step Three is so important to me. I make a decision to turn my life (actions) and will (attitudes) over to the care of God. Or as the author of “Acceptance Was the Answer” (AA 407) said, “I’ll pedal, God will steer.” Step Three is purely academic until I put it into action by working Steps Four through Nine. Step Three is a stepping- off point. It is the first Step in which I commit to doing something, rather than just thinking about something.

Here is a good example I heard: I make a “decision” to go on a trip to a beautiful place. How far into the trip am I at this point? I haven’t begun the trip. To put it another way, I haven’t really taken the Step. Now, I begin packing. I make a list of what I will bring and what I will leave behind. I check my car. I make the necessary repairs. I choose things that I want to see along the way (or want to avoid). I load my car, get in, turn the key, and drive away from my starting point (this is what I’m doing in Steps Four through Nine). Only now have I actually made that “decision” real. In effect, Steps Four through Nine are where Step Three becomes real. Until then, it’s an unfinished Step.

What I have found also is that the Steps have helped change the question from “Why?” to “What action do I take next?”