“I’m Art, a sexaholic. I’ve been sexually sober since January 3, 2004.” That’s how I’ve introduced myself in every meeting I’ve attended. Today, exactly four years later, I have several strong impressions.

First, four years is both a long time and a very brief period. At a birthday meeting at a recent international convention, I was struck by the vast number of us with only a few months or years of sobriety. As the meeting progressed and the crowd coming to the podium dwindled, I wondered if more than a handful would have double-digit sobriety. Thankfully at least 27 persons fell into that category. What an encouragement and what a challenge—as well as a reminder that I’m barely getting started. Just a preschooler in the process of recovery!

Second, I’m aware that four years equals 1,461 days, one day at a time. While I’m grateful to have a four-year medallion, it’s not the one I’ll carry with me every day. It lies on my bedside table as a reminder to be glanced at when I rise and retire. But the only medallion I’ll have in my pocket is the “surrender” chip I’ve carried since my first meeting. It reminds me that “no matter how far down the road I may come, I’m still the same distance from the ditch.”

Third, I know that this milestone can become a millstone if I forget the important distinction between mere length of sobriety and the quality of it. It has taken me quite a while to begin to understand that sobriety is not recovery. I used to think they were synonymous, but I’ve become aware that they are quite different. I’ve observed this in those who have many more years than I do. I’ve also observed it in those who have allowed their slips to become stepping stones to a much greater depth in both their sobriety and recovery. They are a constant inspiration to me, as well as an affirmation of the power of this amazing program.

That leads to a final awareness that, as the Good Book says: “Pride goeth before a fall.” It’s true. I can feel pride welling up inside me at times like this, and I’ve seen it wreak havoc in the lives of others. While I respect and admire those who lose sobriety and bounce back with renewed vigor and commitment, I’m frankly too scared to let myself go back out there. I may not make it back alive, and I can’t take that chance. Four years behind me, thank God, and with His help and the support of the Fellowship, I look forward to many more years ahead!