The 2007 International Convention in Maryland was the first large SA gathering I had attended. I didn’t know what to expect or whether I would feel comfortable being around more than 500 people who are as sick as I am. But I was greatly encouraged by the honesty and sincerity of the people I heard sharing their stories in the breakout sessions. As I met and talked with people in the halls, the hospitality room, and at the meals I found myself relaxed and at peace. The people I met were focused on their recovery; they weren’t trying to judge me or to get something out of me. We were there to attend to the things which matter most in our lives right now: sobriety and a stronger relationship with our Higher Power.

One of the biggest surprises to me was how my insides were matching my outsides. I took the action to go to the conference because I needed to keep growing and be real in working my program. Just six weeks earlier I had almost lost my 20-month sobriety when the content filter on my computer stopped working. During the week that my computer wasn’t filtered I had tempted myself with images that could have led me to lose my sobriety. Although I did not lose my physical sobriety, I felt as though I had. I knew I had done damage to my sobriety, and as I shared my behavior with my sponsor and at meetings, I knew I could not continue to indulge such behavior. I had to address this behavior or I would lose my sobriety. If I lost my sobriety, I might stop working my program. The stakes were high.

What a wonderful revelation I had at the convention when I found breakout sessions and discussions that addressed the very thing I was struggling with. I was extremely grateful to my Higher Power that I was in a place where I could grow in my understanding and be led spiritually to take actions that make my sobriety more secure. “Something good is happening to me,” I told myself. I was ready to take the next step in my sobriety. I decided that I would make adjustments to my sobriety definition to support what I had learned about lust from the recent experiences in my life and from the convention.

Upon returning home from the convention I discussed my decision with my sponsor and then I took the step that my Higher Power seemed to be leading me to take: If I purposely seek out images on the computer to indulge my lust, then I will consider it a form of acting out and reset my sobriety date because of that behavior. The convention had a positive effect on my life and encouraged me to grow in sobriety.