My dear friend,

I’ve been masturbating since the 6th grade and found SA in 2003 or 2004; I don’t remember exactly when. I went to some meetings and then stopped for several months. I came back in 2005 for good. My sobriety date is March 25, 2005. I am 29 years old. I have worked Steps One through Four and am now working on Step Five.

When I was struggling with sex with self I began going to meetings regularly. In San Diego there are mixed meetings offered every morning at 7 a.m. So I forced myself to get out of bed and out of the house and go to the meetings so that I wouldn’t masturbate.

Honestly, the number of men in the meetings was intimidating, but my desire for sobriety was greater than my fear of the men. Being the youngest person there made me feel like a piece of meat, but I also saw them as sex objects. I prayed before every meeting for God to protect me from lust and from lusting. This prayer helped. When I was triggered by a man, I prayed for God to bless him and to take him out of my thoughts.

You are brave to have joined the fellowship. I found it takes courage to be open to the honesty and truth found in the meetings. Not everyone is able to be that honest. I hope there are meetings you can attend in your area. I will pray for you to have wisdom, serenity, and courage.

Blessings,