One recovery tool that I’ve used for many years is what we used to call “the Dailies.” Years ago, it would involve a phone call, sharing with each other our Gratitudes, Fears, Things to Practice, and Things to Avoid. With the advent of e-mail, I started sending mine to one or two partners first thing in the morning, and I would look for their answers, generally before work. Then, one of my sponsees made it even easier by providing an Excel format.

The process takes about five or ten minutes for writing, plus two or three to read a shared Daily. Sometimes, we follow up on what we’ve seen in each other’s spreadsheets. I’ve been doing this with the same two men for eight years. Those relationships have grown very deep.

Here’s how it works: Under Gratitudes, I name things for which I’m thankful on that particular day. I try to be specific and to come up with a fresh list each day. Under Fears, I list things that are bothering me. These might include unresolved feelings or anxieties, difficulties I need God to take away, or areas where I’m falling short. Things To Practice is a “to do” list, including principles and patterns I want to establish, or adjustments I need to make in my life. Things To Avoid is where I document behaviors that aren’t healthy.

The cool thing about this practice is that when I exchange Dailies with others, three things happen:

• In writing the Daily, I become more aware of myself; I know what’s troubling me, what to watch out for, and have documented evidence that God loves me.
• In sending the Daily, someone else is now involved and aware of what’s happening with me; goodbye isolation.
• In receiving a Daily, I become involved with and concerned for another person; my self-absorption diminishes.

Following are a few examples from a recent Daily:

Gratitudes

1. Roof estimate lower than I thought
2. My daughter aced her science test
3. Finally got to bed on time
4. Excited about the retreat next week
5. A break in the heat wave
6. Heard a great song on the radio

Fears

1. My son’s asthma is getting serious
2. Behind on balancing the checkbook
3. Owe more taxes than I expected
4. Best friends’ marriage is in trouble
5. Embarrassed about missing important deadline at work

To Practice

1. Take time to meditate
2. Work on my 4th Step
3. Notice nature and thank God for it
4. Take my dad out to lunch
5. Really listen to my wife
6. Apologize sooner when I need to

To Avoid

1. Toxic internet surfing
2. Eating too much after dinner
3. Talking about boss behind her back
4. Wasting time on unnecessary tasks