“And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone—even alcohol” (AA 84).

This is hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it. I don’t use willpower to fight my addiction anymore. I know the addiction is more powerful than I am, and I’ve declared it to be the winner. I still have to make the decision to not engage in lust, but I no longer fight it like I used to do. I’ve managed to stay sober anyway, mainly because I’ve opened a spiritual channel to the God of My Understanding by working the SA program. I haven’t reached that state of total neutrality mentioned in Alcoholics Anonymous, but I have increasing amounts of time where I don’t lust.

Recently I tried to explain my non-fighting attitude to someone after a meeting. He didn’t get it when I told him I no longer resisted my addiction, but I wasn’t explaining it correctly.

There are times when I can make the decision not to engage in lust, fantasy, or whatever. It is a (sometimes difficult) decision, not a mental battle of willpower. When it becomes a willpower thing, I promptly give up. That is what I mean by not fighting or resisting.

I remember walking down the hallway to my computer, knowing I was going to act out, and just going with it instead of resisting. That was the start of my non-fighting. What I was lacking then was the full Step One experience, where instead of resisting or giving in, I can acknowledge my inability to fight my addiction. Once I grasped that concept, I was able to turn it over to God and let Him do the fighting, and then I got sober.