[…]I do whatever is in front of me to be done, and I leave the results up to Him[…] (AA 420).

One of the concepts that I learned early on in SA was that the problem was not my behavior, the problem was my thinking. Acting out starts in my mind. If I entertain lust, it eventually will lead to acting out. In order to relapse, I have to have made the decision to allow lust in my mind without having surrendered it, probably repeatedly.

I’m good at making the big decisions. “I’ll get into recovery.” “I’ll work the Steps.” It’s the hundreds of little decisions which need to be made many times every day that are the tough ones: the decision to surrender a lustful thought, or to make a phone call, or to be rigorously honest with someone. These little decisions are always essentially the same, choosing the solution instead of the problem. The big decisions don’t hold water without the little ones. If I do the next right thing with the little decisions over the course of the day, the big decisions take care of themselves. The big decisions help me have a direction and a vision, but my life will gradually or suddenly deteriorate unless I am willing to choose the solution when I make hundreds of little decisions each day.

God, help me do what’s in front of me to be done, help me mind my own business.