In the past, a big part of the reason why I felt that I had little value as a person was because I did not own valuable things. I didn’t own a fancy car, live in a dream house, or flaunt a stylish wardrobe; I didn’t have an impressive career in which I could rub elbows with the rich and popular. I would fantasize about that day when I would achieve great success. Strangers would recognize me, my opinions would be much sought after, and I would be everything to everybody. Ah, if only I had more, life would be good.

In the Twelve Step program of SA, anonymity pushes aside the material world and asks, “Can you accept yourself right now?” I knew nothing about my fellow recovering addicts except their first names. Anonymity asked, “Can you accept them as they are right now?” When I first came to meetings, I was so full of shame and self-loathing that it was hard for me to see the value in anything, aside from the quick fix. Even as I was admitting to being a powerless sexaholic, I was convinced that status and money were the missing ingredients that would lead me to happiness.

Over time I realized that the outside would never fix the inside. Believing that I needed more had been the problem all along. I was poor because of my hateful self-image and my sad spiritual state, not because I lacked money. Anonymity challenged me to see the value within people. Many times I went to SA meetings believing that I had nothing to share, nothing to give, but I left the meeting with my pockets full. Each member gave whatever he or she had to offer. When sharing ended, I found real richness in the room.

Nowadays when I’m down, it is often because I step back into that place of wanting more. Then I remind myself of the gift of anonymity. All that is needed to feel love is to accept others and myself. We are all humans who hurt, feel lonely, laugh, and cry. Miracles can come about because we share so much. Charity of the heart is the spirit of anonymity.

God, may I apply the spirit of anonymity to everyone I meet today. They are Your children who crave love and fellowship as I do. Help us to give each other what we need.