“We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory” (AA 76).

Although I have discovered a number of people I had harmed who did not appear in my Fourth Step, the list of people against whom I held resentments was an excellent place to begin. I had to remember that in the Eighth Step I was merely making the list. I cannot emphasize too strongly the importance of discussing amends with a sponsor before contacting any person harmed. Sexaholics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous both have excellent descriptions of the purpose and actions of this Step. I had to read them carefully and discuss what I read with my sponsor.

The chapter on Step Eight in the 12&12 provides specific directions. Pages 80 and 81 give a list of some of the more obvious ways I may have harmed others. Using this as a guide, I followed the advice on page 124 of Sexaholics Anonymous: Many of these memories are triggered by the sharing of others in meetings or private talks. When this happens, I take the new information to my sponsor before I approach the person to make amends.

Once I had completed my list, I met with my sponsor to discuss my actions for Step Nine.