When we come into the program, all we want is physical sobriety. But we quickly learn that not acting out is not enough. Because real sobriety is living “happy, joyous and free.” The White Book tells us that to maintain physical sobriety and enjoy progressive victory over lust, we have to face the waves of emotion and constant trials of life we were running from when we came into the program.

Chapter Five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous reminds us: “We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.” Oddly enough, we find that working the program on these defects of character actually is the “easier, softer way.”

In the chapter titled “Steps 6 and 7” in the White Book, we learn that we have to deal with these ups and downs one moment, one temptation, one wave of feelings at a time.

We continue to watch for the self-centeredness or egotism which causes our character defects. When this is evident, we ask our Higher Power to help us be willing to have it removed.

We avoid hanging onto negative feelings. We can’t afford to hold on to anger, resentments, self-pity and fear. We avoid sulking in long silences which can result from pride or vengeance. Any of the behaviors can keep us off balance and propel us into emotional binges.

We find it is pointless to be angry or resentful towards people who are also suffering from the pains of being human.

We are happier when we can accept responsibility daily for our actions and do not fall back into the pattern of blaming.

When we feel we have failed, we promptly admit this to ourselves and, if necessary, to others. We forgive ourselves and others.

If we try and fail, at least we have tried. It is often through our failures that we learn more about ourselves.

We learn not to take ourselves too seriously. We benefit by gaining a sense of humor. We find that we can laugh at ourselves. Through this process of continual self-appraisal, we maintain our honesty and humility. We focus on living one day at a time, and we continue our progress in recovery.