Among many other gifts, SA hands me the most wonderful toolkit to use in recovery. The essential tools are meetings and telephone calls, working the Steps and Traditions, and contact with God as I understand Him. A daily contract for sobriety and a gratitude list are two other important tools. I generally use them only once a day. There is one tool, however, which I estimate I use 20 to 30 times every day and night. That is prayer.

My opinion is that one cannot make progress in sobriety and recovery without memorizing and frequently using the Third Step prayer (Page 63, AA Big Book and our own literature). I use it two or three times during the night, many times during the day and whenever I am sexual with my wife. The motive to use it is always the same: I am experiencing Fear which is a symptom that I am disconnected from my Higher Power. The Third Step prayer reconnects me. I may need to repeat it more than once.

The Serenity Prayer is my obsession or panic prayer. I repeat it slowly, emphasizing each phrase and sometimes each word. Sometimes I insert “those very few” after the word “change” just to remind myself. I really like (and use) Bill W.’s suggestion in As Bill Sees It: while walking he slowly said the Serenity Prayer out loud as an Eleventh Step tool.

I also have a special three-day prayer derived from Page 162 of our SA Big Book. When I notice a body part on a person or find myself in a fantasy of any sort, I first say: “I surrender my right to [look at or think about the body part or fantasy].” Next I pray “May she (he) find whatever she (he) needs today to be healthy and whole, which is NOT my [looking at or thinking about that person’s body part or having a fantasy].” Finally, I pray: “God (or Higher Power) may I find in you whatever I thought I would have found in [looking at or thinking about that person’s body part or having a fantasy].” I try to then state whatever I was looking for: was I afraid of abandonment or being deprived? Did I simply want a hit of adrenalin or lust? Being specific helps.

I have other prayers, but those three are the essential ones to get me through the day. The Seventh Step prayer is important whenever I feel worthless. Memorizing the “St. Francis Prayer” [Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 99] is still ahead of me as part of my Eleventh Step work.

My disease flares when I lose contact with my Higher Power. I recover when that contact is secure. Prayer is the most common tool I use to keep those ties healthy and whole.