Overheard at the Baltimore Convention: “I have to let others in to make room for myself.”

Chicago, IL

…my sobriety date is April 24, 1988.… I am concerned about a letter that was printed in the February issue of ESSAY. The letter related the experience of a member who attended a retreat that was attended by members of other sex addiction recovery groups.

I am a member of the committee who coordinated the retreat. First of all, the retreat was never advertised nor intended as an SA-sponsored event. The retreat has been held for three successive years, and grew out of a desire of members of the sex addiction fellowships in both Chicago and Milwaukee for prayer and fellowship at the start of the new year. The retreat is not endorsed by any fellowship, and is open to anyone who is a member of any of the sex addiction fellowships. The presentations and discussions focus on common issues in recovery. Participants share their experience, strength, and hope, usually without reference to a specific fellowship or recovery program.

The letter published in ESSAY represents one participant’s opinion. It does not reflect the expressed opinion of the majority of SA members who attended the retreat, and who look forward to future retreats. This retreat has been an opportunity for honest sharing and prayerful reflection. Most of us have found it to be helpful in our recovery.

I am concerned that this letter was printed in ESSAY without any attempt to clarify its accuracy via any of the Chicago SA groups. The letter describes one person’s experience of an event in which many SA members participated. Most readers will presume the letter to be more than just one person’s opinion, despite the disclaimer to the contrary. This is a disservice to the experience of the majority of SA members who benefitted from this retreat. The fellowship is only aware of what is printed.

I feel the editors of ESSAY have a responsibility to place one member’s opinion of a local event in a fair context. If the editors cannot do this in a given situation, then the letter should not be published, in fairness to all.

I am also concerned as to how a letter such as this is perceived by persons who are not yet committed to a specific fellowship. If we are to grow by attraction, it seems to me we must be careful about making statements that appear to judge another fellowship by the actions of a few. I am in SA because it works for me, and I have seen it working for others. I want other addicts to feel invited to learn more about what SA has to offer. Our common purpose is not served when we distribute a letter that points out weaknesses in members of other fellowships.

The opinions expressed in ESSAY are always those of an individual member. However, I believe that a more careful selection must be made of which letters will receive international distribution via this newsletter.

Thank you for listening. I have asked those members of SA who also worked in coordinating this retreat to sign this letter. I ask your consideration of the concerns that I have presented.