Sylvia participated in the early history of Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) and was a primary figure in the development of SA’s current service structure.

Jesse L. Brings SA to Oklahoma City: Sylvia joined SA in 1983. At that time, it was popular to be in a 12 Step program. She went to Al-Anon, Overeaters Anonymous, and many open AA meetings. She heard them talk about alcohol addiction and said, “I have the same problem with sex.”

Jesse L. was in Oklahoma City at that time because a family member was in treatment, and he planned to stay as long as needed. He went to various meetings in other programs, said he was a sexaholic and planned to start an SA meeting there. He started it in his hotel room. Sylvia and five or six other women said, “Oh, I want to go to that.” Jesse was a well-known author in 12 Step circles. Many people showed up for the meeting. There was now a group. However, when Jesse L. moved back to his home state, the meeting almost vanished.

They had moved the meeting from the hotel room to a church. Only Sylvia and one man, Dan, stayed. Since there were no other members to sponsor them, Sylvia and Dan began co-sponsoring each other. She would often joke about that experience by saying, “I knew it was safe to co-sponsor each other because back then, there was a celebrity couple named Dale Evans and Roy Rogers. Well, I had a crush on Roy Rogers. Dan also had a crush on Roy Rogers. That’s how I knew it was safe.”

Other people came and went. Sylvia and Dan kept thinking, “If nobody shows up next week, we’re gonna close the meeting.” They did that for five years. It was just the two of them attending regularly. Eventually, the meeting grew. Having participated in the first SA meeting in Oklahoma, Sylvia helped keep the doors open for all those who followed.

A Postscript: Oklahoma 39 Years Later: For her 39th sobriety birthday, Sylvia’s Oklahoma City SA Home group hosted a hybrid joint SA and S-Anon celebration, including a speaker meeting. In her humility, Sylvia declined to be the speaker but invited her “sponsor-ee” as she called it, to speak. Here are Sylvia’s comments that night:

I want to first start off with a disclaimer. When I asked about having a party, we started the party off for me, but the fact is, this is not my party. This is a party for Sexaholics Anonymous. This is the beginning group of Sexaholics Anonymous in Oklahoma City on May 10, 1983, and for that, we are never sufficiently grateful because it has been a wonderful, wonderful journey. I have a lot of people here who can verify that, and I am tremendously excited. I’m excited to have this many people all over the world to hear us, and I want you all to know that this program works. I can verify that. I’ve been around. I’ve been here, done this, and have the scars to prove it.

So I would like to introduce [one of my sponsor-ees]. What’s important is that we have a connection that we received through this program, and it has been a wonderful connection. I couldn’t ask for any more help than what she’s been for me. It’s supposed to be the other way around, but I can verify it works two ways because without her, I would forget what it’s like to be a sexaholic. It is a hard journey, and it is a soft journey. It’s a beautiful road and an ugly road sometimes. But we’re all here and we’re together and we know that this is a fellowship that loves God and that’s the important thing. So I want this fellowship to remember this date [May 10, 1983] as the sobriety birthday of Sexaholics Anonymous in Oklahoma City, and I believe S-Anon was founded at the same time in the City. So welcome to all of you.

International Conventions – Connecting SA Women: In December 1983, when she was six months sober, Sylvia went as a Delegate to her first Convention in Simi Valley. She participated in the decision to have Conventions for fellowship only, every six months. SA business would be separate.

Except for one Convention for emergency reasons, Sylvia attended every international Convention until the COVID pandemic. From December 1983 to January 2020, there were 73 conventions, and she was present for 72 of them. Attendance grew from 18 at her first Convention to 800 during her lifetime.

In addition to Conventions, Sylvia went to numerous regional SA events. She traveled all over the world with her husband, Gene. They planned their vacation travels around SA Conventions and other SA events. They went to Japan. They went to Russia. They went to Israel. They traveled all over Europe: England, Spain, Belgium, and Poland.

People could go to a Convention, and she was always there, always sober. Sylvia being there was important to her and to the fellowship. Her constant presence at every Convention gave hope for women to keep coming back. She went to any lengths to attend Conventions. She frequently said the little slogan, “Join SA and see the world.”

Women’s Breakout Rooms: Sylvia initiated women’s breakout rooms at the Conventions, which provided a space for women to have fellowship and support each other. Typically, women rarely got to speak with other SA women face-to-face. Those were the days of long-distance phone calls with sponsees in multiple states. Conventions were where she and her sponsees could meet in person.

Sylvia always had a group of women around her. One-to-one time with her was in such demand that she had to set up a schedule for appointments during the Convention. Sometimes the women would sit together in a corner. Late in the day, her husband Gene would jokingly ask Sylvia, “Are you finished holding court now?”

How vital were those face-to-face meetings to connect with women and to encourage them to keep going. Sylvia stressed the Steps and the Fellowship, “You have to have both.”

Convention tradition included Sylvia giving each willing SA member a sobriety medallion and a big hug at the birthday celebrations. The medallions and hugs brought an atmosphere of joy to these events.

The White Book’s Journey During Sylvia’s Lifetime: During her first six years in SA, Sylvia saw the entire transformation from single typewritten pages to the now familiar soft-bound 6 X 9-inch White Book.

At first, SA had loose-leaf typewritten 8 1/2 X 11-inch papers that they would hand out at meetings. In 1984, those loose-leaf papers were published as an 8 1/2 X 11-inch book with a flesh-colored cover. They called it the SA Manual (not to be confused with the current SA Service Manual).

Lawrence M., SA member since 1985 and first ESSAY editor after Roy K., remembers, “It caught Roy’s attention that the AA Big Book was grape-colored, the OA book was chocolate-colored, and the SA Manual was flesh-colored.” Some wonder if Roy changed the cover to white after noticing this.

In May 1986, the 8 ½ X 11-inch SA Manual was reprinted with a white cover. Sylvia kept one of these white-cover copies until she passed away.

In July 1989, a new and revised edition was published as a 6 X 9-inch book with the artistic symbol and the title Sexaholics Anonymous on the cover. Then the majority of members said, “We do not need to advertise the name of our Fellowship on our book cover.” So, the 1989 edition was reprinted with a plain white soft cover. It became known as the SA White Book.

Service Structure: In 1994, SA Central Office moved from Simi Valley, CA, to Nashville, TN. The Fellowship was growing and needed a better service structure. They voted to have business meetings every six months, held at the Convention site for two days before each Convention. Sylvia faithfully attended all business meetings.

The outline of SA’s Service Structure was approved in 1995. The Regions and Intergroups had elected their very first SA Delegates for the 1996 Convention in Phoenix. It was kind of chaotic because the development of the SA Service Structure was in process. The General Delegate Assembly didn’t even have a name until a year later.

The First Chair of the Board of Trustees: Phoenix was the organizing Convention where they elected the first Trustees. It was determined that a Trustee should not simultaneously serve as a Delegate. Sylvia was unanimously elected the first Chair of the Board of Trustees. She resigned her position as Delegate to serve as Chair. The votes were overwhelmingly supportive. They knew the role was essential. They knew Sylvia had a habit of never saying no if someone asked her to serve. And she had experience running other nonprofit organizations in her personal life. Sylvia seemed perfectly suited for the job.

Sylvia became a self-appointed chief recruiting officer, encouraging sober SA members to participate in the Fellowship’s business. She recruited her sponsees and many others to become SA trusted servants. She envisioned and guided the development of the current service structure, with its groups, intergroups, regions, the General Delegate Assembly (GDA), and the Board of Trustees.

Bringing Unity and Joy to the Cleveland Clarification: Sylvia made the passing of the Cleveland Clarification Statement more unifying than it would have been. In July 1999, when the SA Trustees finished their meeting, it was time for the Delegates to meet. The Trustees were present as observers and supporters to lend their wisdom and perspective when needed.

The Delegates were considering a motion about the sobriety definition. There were hours of discussion. It was intense. The motion was about to pass with substantial unanimity, but with two “no” votes. They decided to take a short break while the “minority” worked on it and put together what we call The Cleveland Clarification. The Cleveland Clarification refers to the asterisk on page 192 of the Sexaholics Anonymous book that explains the meaning of the word “spouse.” The members who drafted it said that this was the way they had always understood it. The GDA voted, and it passed unanimously.

Sylvia was very impressed by what had happened among the Delegates. She wanted to show the unanimity that was there. She sensed that it would be a unanimous vote with the Trustees as well. She was right. She spoke up and requested that the Trustees also vote with the Delegates. They took another vote. Again, it passed unanimously.

There was joy in the room where Sylvia was, where the Trustees and the Delegates had just taken the vote. Kay, office manager for SA Central Office at the time, said, “This was a memorable moment. One of those frozen-in-time moments. I was sitting on the sidelines of history, just taking it in.”

A Historical Letter of Gratitude: A thank-you letter was written shortly after the Cleveland Clarification was passed. It took a while to collect all the signatures because, in those days, it had to be sent around by mail. There were 66 signatures by members from Canada, Australia, Singapore, Spain, Brazil, USA, Canada, and El Salvador.

The letter was addressed to the Trustees and Delegates, but it was mailed to Sylvia. This was an affirmation and a confirmation that meant a lot to her. The letter reads:

To: SA Trustees and DelegatesWe write as SA members for whom same-sex lust and/or behavior has been a major part of our sexaholism. Your actions in Cleveland to clarify SA sobriety in unambiguous terms have provided comfort and security to many of us.

Some of us could find little support for our goal of sobriety until we came into SA. Some of us joined SA because it ruled out same-sex behavior as sober. Some of us have boundaries which mean we could not be part of a fellowship where same-sex behaviour is considered sober.

Some of us initially approached SA sobriety with resistance or reluctance, only later to appreciate its value. All of us thank you for your clear affirmation of SA sobriety. We thank you for saying that SA will remain the safe haven it has become for us.

Sylvia kept the letter in her possession until her death.

Step into Action: Sylvia knew what she wanted. She didn’t always know how to get there, but she always knew what the end goal was. Then she would talk to Kay, who was the office manager at Sexaholics Anonymous International Central Office (SAICO). They would talk about creating a letter, or a piece of paperwork, or a motion she wanted. Sylvia insisted on, initiated, and crafted the motion to have an SA Twelve and Twelve book by SA members. That was back in 2000. As a result, SA now has Step into Action.

After 2000, it took four years to approve the book outline. Sylvia wasn’t a writer, but she knew writers. She would suggest they get on the writing team. The book was published in three “work in progress” sections between 2005-2008. In 2013, the sections were combined, and the final Step Into Action book was published soon thereafter. The Literature Committee is currently writing the book of the Twelve Traditions.