He experienced a transformation from SA that helps him see is true identity.

 The Problem is not the problem!

When I came to SA in 1999 due to personal, family and relational crises, my feelings were all over the place. I really did not have feelings except anger. I knew exactly what to do and how to quickly solve all the issues in my life and quickly get back to “normal” again, playing the game of Happy Family.

Talk about delusion…

Fortunately for me, I had a very powerful sponsor who was strong yet unforgiving and who understood people like me, because, as you know, I was special, talented, and unique, and knew exactly what to do in every circumstance. 

Be not afraid

This saying is easy to say and difficult to do. I was born into a fear-based family three years after WWII, and times were tough. Food was short, commodities were short, and there was a constant fear in my family of origin of running out of food despite my father having good and continuous work. I initially handled fears of my own by withdrawing into imagination when I was sick or on my own. But after puberty, sex with self became pronounced despite the harmful effects and knowing it to be wrong. I made numerous attempts to stop acting out and also to overcome fear. 

Guilty as charged!

Throughout my life, I had concentrated on self-talk with the aid of motivational speakers and guides, which did work to an extent. However, I knew deep inside that I was shy of the mark—I was not good enough to make the grade. 

Acting out for 40 years left a deep furrow of guilt, which would take a long time to remedy by working the Steps of SA. My motto for life was to never admit wrong, never admit defeat, and never allow others to contradict or correct me or my work.

My life followed these strategies for 40 to 50 years of aggression and emotional dependence. Fortunately, I never saw all this as I was spiritually blind. If I had seen this condition back then, I probably would not be here today to tell the tale. Suicide was a definite option back then. 

 Shame, shame, shame!

I came from a lower working-class family, and whilst I had a “normal” childhood, with one mother, one father, and one sister, things were not always good or smooth or happy. My mother had low self-worth, and her family of origin came from a poor gold miner’s background where money was not plentiful. I was brainwashed by the world since day one. The world said, “If you want to be successful, you will—“

• Have money. The more the better.

• Drive a nice modern car.

• Live in a house with a white picket fence in the suburbs.

• Have a position of power and influence in industry.

• Have a model wife and children who dote on you as a hero. 

“The final Page has not been written.”

The finality of life is not yet upon me. An enormous transformation has taken place in me and my family over the past 26 years since discovering SA through a counsellor. The main milestones for me have been:

Step One ⁠– Realising my powerlessness and that “self-reliance had failed me.”

Step Three ⁠– Handing my life over to a new Higher Power (I call Him “God of SA”) rather than the god of religion.

Step Four ⁠– Gradually looking at my life responsibilities, taking action to fix past wrongdoings in Step Nine.

Steps Ten through Twelve ⁠– Starting to live a purer moral and spiritual life as directed by God.

Serving within SA in meetings, intergroup, and region. 

I have learned that God’s ways are not my ways and that the first will be last and the last will be first.

I learned to give up what I cannot keep to gain what I cannot lose. I also learned that family, people, and relationships must come before work, tasks, and achievements. God has changed me slowly and continues to change me just as long as I allow Him to work in my life. My God is kind and gentlemanly and never forces me to do anything. I now know who I am and where I am going. I have an identity, and a peace beyond all understanding.

I thank God daily for His presence and for the SA Program.