SA kepted him sober while therapy helped him heal from trauma and shame.

My wife discovered my addiction for the first time before we were married. I promised if she gave me another chance, I would spend the rest of my life making it up to her. That turned out to be a lie. She discovered my addiction for the second time after I got myself into a legal situation. I sought professional help. Unfortunately, the professional treated my addiction only as a compulsion, and he never recommended a Twelve-Step program. Within months after finishing therapy, I began acting out again.

In January 2020, my wife found email exchanges between me and another woman. I had to acknowledge there really was something wrong with me and that I needed help. I sought professional help yet again. The professional told me about SA, and I reached out to them. I heard back from someone in short order.

Over two years, I sought help from three different professionals. I learned about family of origin issues and consulted with a professional who specialized in enmeshment. I had experienced sexual abuse, and I went to special therapy to help with feelings of shame I had carried for decades due to my sexual abuse.

I did not rely solely on professional help. I also attended two SA meetings per week during this time. I got a sponsor and worked the Steps. I became a sponsor and a hotline coordinator. I got myself a Daily Sobriety Renewal (DSR) partner, and have done a DSR every day for the past five years without missing a day. 

My wife decided to stay in the marriage. We both agree that the last few years have been our best. I also improved my relationship with my kids and my boss. I now generally relate better to others than I ever did. I learned how to draw boundaries with others, including some members of my family of origin.   

Therapy alone would never have kept me sober. Following the SA Program rigorously keeps me sober and in recovery. But the professionals helped me understand my life’s story and change its direction. They helped me find my humanity. There is a role for both SA and professionals in learning how to live in recovery.