If there is any pattern emerging, it is that people come into SA with a moment of clarity and resolve, grateful to finally know what’s wrong and to find others with the same problem and secrets. This initial motivation carries them for awhile, and many even stay sober for a time. However, many fall away. They drop out of contact or stop going to meetings. Often, these turn into “periodics”—they start trying to stop—stop, go; stop, go. But they cannot seem to stay sober. Some of these eventually return to SA and begin again. Many do not. So if you find yourself in a similar pattern, don’t be too discouraged; it’s happened to most of us. “KEEP COMING BACK!”

This should tell us some things:

1. Many are still trying to stop on their own—like we always used to. They simply haven’t surrendered yet.

2. We are truly powerless over our obsession. No amount of high resolve or will power can make the inner changes which are necessary for lasting sobriety and serenity. We don’t seem to have the dubious luxury of other options. “Without God, I can’t; without me, God won’t.”

3. We can’t do it alone. We need a fellowship of survivors with whom we can be honest about ourselves. The honesty and “energy” are in the meetings and contacts with other members.

4. Working the principles of the 12 Steps works! Not a one of us seems to want to do so naturally. We do it because surrender to the Steps and one another brings about freedom and joy. And these are the very things we were hoping would come floating down magically out of heaven without our having to do anything. “Faith without action is dead.”

The ones who seem to be making it are those who avail themselves of any means they can, whether SA meetings, AA or other 12 Step meetings, phone calls and letters—whatever it takes. They break through that old inertia of being spiritual loners and start being “part of” instead of “apart from.” In this sense, there seem to be no real “loners” in sobriety.