I am Oscar, a recovering sexaholic, sober by the grace of my beloved Higher Power since March 6, 2012.

At one time, when I was participating in the work meetings of my face-to-face group, there was an AA old timer who knew the program literature very well, and when asked to speak, he used to go on and on, making me impatient; and then, there was another fellow who never spoke at work meetings; he just said “Yes” or “No” when it came to voting. Those fellows irritated me.

I really like work meetings—group consciences and intergroup meetings—because, as the book “Discovering the Principles” says, “work meetings are often the place where we feel the burn.”

Trying to change other fellows is impossible, just as I have no power over lust. While I was in those meetings, I prayed for wisdom and courage to change, to let go of the burden that my ego was carrying. Finally I was able to appreciate those two fellows and to thank God for their presence. From each one, I learned to live the traditions and spiritual principles; to be tolerant, to be grateful for the service of each fellow and for everyone who turns up at the meetings of my home group. I have to accept that I am just a student on the spiritual path and continue to recognize that my ego is not always right.

I love the text that says, “We absolutely insist on enjoying life,” Chapter 9, the Blue Book. But how can I be happy if everyone around me is wrong? How can I enjoy life listening to chronic relapsers at meetings and to those who “… regret the past and wish to shut the door on it”?

The answer came when I worked the steps and began to really live the spiritual principles. My dark side always wants to criticize others; it is never happy, always uncomfortable and intolerant. But today I have a choice—I can ask for divine help, work the Steps, take frequent inventories of myself; I can own and surrender my immaturity, surrender the desire to throw a childish tantrum, pointing to everyone else’s defects.

Little by little, working the steps, making my way towards the light, I began to see that the answer to true freedom is to take responsibility for my life—even if it hurts and I don’t want to do it; to face change, to be brave in the face of the pain of growing spiritually. Little by little, I have become more tolerant, more loving and understanding of others instead of always complaining about them. I have started to experience the joy of living in reality, of enjoying this precious life, whilst discovering a deeper relationship with my Higher Power—all of it earned through working the Steps on my defects of character as they arise, especially in service.

The slogan “Stick with the winners” encourages me to listen to recovery stories at meetings and in recordings; it also encourages me to talk about the benefits of service – the changes that have happened in my life through service on my country’s Intergroup, by working in the Spanish Translation Committee of the Essay magazine, by sponsoring inmates in prison—discovering through it all that I too can be a winner, just for today. I always enjoy sharing this joyful message with my group.