I could not go on. I had to change. And one of the many promises of the 12-Step program is that I will change fundamentally, if I work the tools of the program.

My introduction to the 12-Step program started with a professional interest. At the time, I had no awareness of my own problems and addictions; rather, I was the one providing the solution to those with the problems and addictions. I liked the role, being in charge, the one providing the solution, helping those who, as I thought, were worse off than me. I liked, too, the principles of the program; they sat well with my spiritual and religious beliefs, but I always noticed that I was never as happy or cheerful as the recovering alcoholics and drug addicts I saw in the groups.

I asked God a question: “Why isn’t my faith in You filling me with happiness and joy? Am I missing something here?” Gradually, the solution that we read about and the tools to get there started filtering through to me.

It started with sobriety from drugs and alcohol; NA and AA helped me a lot here. To get sober in SA, I had to embrace the first and foremost tool it offered me, which has been working with an SA sponsor and going through the Steps according to the book “Step into Action.” I started to experience something of happiness, joy, and freedom. It was very difficult for me at the beginning to accept that I too am a sick person with allergies to drugs, alcohol and lust.

Even today, as I work hard at my Program, I am still amazed at the level of God’s love and mercy for me, granting me so many years of sobriety and clean living; my once shattered life taking on so much more meaning and steady direction each day.

Another important tool has been the Serenity Prayer. Before working the SA Program, it was just one more program prayer; I was never sure what the word “courage” meant in its context in the prayer. Slowly, it dawned on me that there is a Higher Power behind everything I do and that I should place my trust in Him; my courage can come from Him: my sponsor quotes the book Alcoholics Anonymous and says, either God is everything or He is nothing; either He will be my Higher Power or lust will be.

The ultimate tool is reaching out to the God of my own understanding. Now I know for sure that for me to make the changes I need to make and lead a meaningful life, I have to ask a Power greater than lust; a loving God who is happy to give me the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to distinguish between those and the things I just need to accept in life. This trust, and the serenity, courage and wisdom that flow from it, helps me to live a happy, joyous and free life today, no matter the external problems and circumstances.