1. Leaders lead and sharers share. Leaders of meetings are servants of that meeting; they don’t “carry” the meeting; they merely facilitate it.
2. The leader of the meeting does not have to acknowledge a raised hand; he can call on someone else. He is not at the mercy of the members. He can interrupt the one talking, if it is called for. This is in line with best of AA traditions.
3. Should a certain basic minimum or basic set of readings be read at every meeting? If so, which items?
4. We stick with authorized AA and SA literature — both for use during meetings and what appears on the literature table.
5. We can benefit from the unwritten guidelines that have contributed so profoundly to the success of AA meetings and have proven valuable in our own. More from the Meeting Guide:
- There is no cross-talk. That is, we don’t interrupt others. However, the leader has the right to remind the person sharing of guidelines, time consumed, etc.
- We don’t give advice. We talk in the “I,” not the “You,” speaking from our own experience. Thus, if we want to respond to what someone has said, we do so only in terms of our own experience. “I can only speak for myself; but whenever I did so and so, this was what happened in my life….”
- We don’t psychoanalyze ourselves or others, and we don’t get carried away analyzing what “caused” our behavior or attitudes. We don’t talk as victims. We talk as those responsible for our diseased attitudes and actions and who are willing to take responsibility for our altered attitudes in recovery.
- We don’t display knowledge, education, status, accomplishments, or erudition.
- We avoid politics and religious dogma.
- We avoid “dumping,” self-pity, and blaming others.
- We don’t take the “inventories” of others; that is, we uncover and work on our own defects, not those of others. We can indirectly confront others, as in item b, above, by referring to our own experience.
- We DO speak honestly of where we really are today.
- We DO lead with our weakness and take the risk of absolute self-disclosure.
One Final Thought
“Each member of Sexaholics Anonymous is but a small part of a great whole. SA must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence our common welfare comes first. But individual welfare follows close afterward.” (Tradition One, Long Form)
