We spoke out of recovery and celebrated sobriety for three days in Oklahoma City. That first night as sobriety was held up so we could see the recovery on the faces of those receiving the hugs, chips, and joy that comes with clean and sober living, I felt a gentle Power wash through our gathering. Gentle, but in waves it came, nine years, four years, three years, “the class of ’83,” two years, one year, nine months, six months, two, and one month.

But for me the moment that touched off joy and gratitude and abundant hope for myself and all those “out there” was when those in their first 30 days, who wanted, were invited to come up for a “Desire Chip.” This to me, though the rich gift of life and healing of this week-end was almost continuous, this moment is enduring for me, calling me ever more to the heart of our program. Indeed, calling me to the heart of the God of my understanding. That simple word: DESIRE, desire for sobriety. How thrilled I was to watch the faces of those who went up—some only after a reflective moment of decision. The joy of seeing a member who had been at my first step in another city two years ago—claiming that desire that has kept him coming back these two years, flooding me with strength and hope by manifesting that desire—never lost in the midst of much struggle, apparent defeat, discouragement: COURAGE.

Another with many more years than I in the program, claiming his recovery, witnessing to the Power that has given this life to him, acknowledging in humility the desire that gives courage to those who experience a slip: HUMILITY. I’m so grateful for those two who traveled so many miles to say a word I need to hear daily if I am to be sober today: I need others, I need the program, I need to acknowledge my desire for sobriety if I am to stay alive today, if I am to stay sober today.

Each person manifesting the desire for sobriety revealed to me in a specifically powerful way that this desire is at the heart of the program. This desire is the program one to twenty-four hours to nine years sober. Without this desire there is no sobriety. Simple as that.

With this desire there is sobriety—one day or ten years. No matter whether experienced in pain, joy, fear, or confusion the desire gives sobriety. More, it seems that the desire for sobriety is one with the desire for life, for freedom, for God.

How different from that distorted counterfeit masking as “desire” which seduces with illusory promise and leads to unfreedom, death of a relationship, and isolated hell so that desire, delight, affection are polluted with lust and led into the confusion of lust being named affection.

Like a spring that began with a tiny trickle of water inviting me into recovery in the midst of a tornado of pain, confusion, powerlessness, and lust, desire continues to spread so that desire now becomes the longing that every thought, fantasy, memory, decision, and action be touched by the same desire that invited me to surrender my life into the Care of the One who is truly caring. A desire that overflows and longs to share itself with others so that they may have hope and so that my desire for sobriety might be increased. It is fed by being given away.

Sobriety is a direction rather than a destination. Desire is deep and given. I can’t will it. I can receive it and ask for it. I can nurture it, feed it, enhance it.

Desire Chips! Each face that mirrored it, each hand that took it, each foot that walked it—you said it all. Thank you.