Early 1990’s

Originally published in ESSAY, 2003, Issue Four

At an international conference sometime in the early 1990s, I was standing at the entrance of the hotel restaurant and I noticed some papers lying by the cash register. I picked them up and read: “Desire for Sobriety: daily renewal with sobriety partners.” I thought, hmmm, probably this wasn’t meant to be left by the cash register. I looked around the almost empty dining room and saw Jim E. and Harry B. Yes, the papers belonged to them and they kindly gave me a copy, with this history. The first three questions (see below) were written by a newcomer who knew Jim, and were devised because neither he nor Jim had a meeting to go to. They began calling each other every day to commit to sobriety. Later, Harry added the other two questions. I’m not sure which of them wrote the commentary. The newcomer left the program, but he certainly gave us something that has had a significant impact on our fellowship.

I took the renewals back to Boston where eventually they were rewritten and expanded by one or two of our members. I didn’t know they’d been rewritten until Peter from California showed them to me at an international conference, saying they had come from Massachusetts! Such is the wonderful “grapevine” of our fellowship. Since then I’ve read or heard on tape at least two further revisions that came out of California and there may be others. A current version was printed in the Essay in 2002, Issue 4.

Here is the original renewal:

Desire for Sobriety: Daily Renewal With Sobriety Partners

1. Are you willing to admit you are powerless over lust?
2. Do you desire sobriety for the next 24 hours? (freedom from the obsessions and actions of lust [freedom from fear, resentment, shame, self-pity, etc.])
3. Are you willing to do whatever is necessary to protect this desire for the next 24 hours? (setting boundaries, prayer, reading, physical care of your body, reaching out and calling others)
4. Do you understand that at the end of this 24 hours you are free to choose this sobriety for another day or go another way?
5. Just for today, are you willing, with me, to hand over your will and your life to the care of the One who kept you sober yesterday and protected you from the full consequences of your lust in the past?

A Commentary: Keep your renewal simple and brief. Use your own words. In the beginning perhaps the first three questions are enough. Depending on the struggle of the day, some like to include freedom from fear, resentment, or shame.

Desire for sobriety (to stop lusting) is the only requirement for membership in this fellowship. The willingness to claim that desire, share it daily in relationships, protect and nurture it, will assure sobriety. A WE-God, rather than ME-God.

God is not present in the shame of the past, God is not present in the fear of the future, God is present in your desire for sobriety at this moment. This is conscious contact with the God of your understanding. Good desires, shared, grow stronger. Conscious contact increases.

Yesterday’s spirituality will not keep us sober today. We need a fresh injection of Spirit each new day. Desire: name it, claim it, share it, live in it. The God of my understanding becomes the God of my good desires. The God of my shame, of my fear, of my resentment withers.

Because this is a program of choice, we can choose sobriety even when we are out of touch with the desire for sobriety. Each new day we renew that choice with others as often as needed. Desire will return and bear fruit, and multiply strength with each sharing. It works.