I wrote this poem way back in ‘92. I go back to it often, and thought I might share it with my SA community.

In a dark, hidden room,
Somewhere in my mind,
I search with sex and lust,
Comfort I can’t find.

This room it has no windows
To look out upon the Truth,
And I wallow in the darkness of…
…my shame and self abuse.

Afraid to face reality,
Because I’ve not learned how,
I run and hide inside this room,
Gone from the Here and Now.

Each time I run into this room,
It seems bigger than before,
And when I try to exit,
The heavier the door.

The comfort and answers I look for,
They never really come,
Only pain, loneliness and fear is there,
When my acting out is done.

But insanity is my mentor,
Convincing me each time,
I’ll receive what I am looking for
If I lock myself inside.

And yet I have some hope today,
As I listen to God and others,
To forge a path out of that room,
With my SA Sisters and Brothers.