The brochure Beginnings: Notes on the Origin and Early Growth of SA has become one of my favorite pieces of SA literature. Roy’s account of SA’s early history stresses that men and women together have been centrally involved in our fellowship’s development from the very start.
If we could only know what became of those pioneers. Roy mentions a Beverly and a Kelly at the first SA conference in July of 1981. At the second Fellowship-wide conference in January of 1983 there was a Lisa and a Dolores. By the third National Convention in December of 1983, there were 14 delegates, of whom six were women: Sylvia J. (Oklahoma City), Carol B. (Edmonton, Alberta), Tandra G., Barbara T., and Elizabeth-Ann M. (Salt Lake City), and Lynn C. (Seattle). Sylvia has stuck with the fellowship all this time—and is closing in on 40 years of sobriety by God’s grace.
But since those early years, we men have come to predominate in SA and many meetings have zero or just one or two women. It can sometimes seem like women are nearly invisible in SA.
I’m in another fellowship for a different addiction, and in that program it’s the opposite picture. The overwhelming number of members are women. In my home meeting we’re five men among nearly 40 women. But I am welcomed by the women members and our friendships with each other go far beyond any differences among us. I don’t feel like I’m in a minority because of the way the women are with us men.
Back in January of 1990, five of us—three men and two women—piled into a rented van and drove 10 hours from DC to Nashville to attend my first SA international convention. It felt like we were somehow rediscovering our innocence as brothers and sisters in the spirit of the “Mixed Meetings” section on pp. 178-179 of our White Book.
Today, in 2021, I’m learning that I can do more as a man to make sure that SA is truly “a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other.” I try to do my part to appropriately welcome women at meetings. I encourage women to step forward in service on every level as best I can. I am advocating that the whole fellowship join in this effort, including creating a Support for Women Committee of the Trustees that will focus our collective attention on this. I make it a point to treat our sisters as equals and invite them to SA gatherings. I try to keep in mind how much I appreciate how the women in my other fellowship include me in every aspect of that fellowship.
In SA we have a common problem and we are seeking a common solution. We are “united by [a] common commitment to sobriety and recovery” (SA 179). I wouldn’t have it any other way.
L.A., Yerevan, Armenia