A lust drunk was stranded on a desert island with no lust hits or any other way of escaping his loneliness. One day he saw an old brown bottle washed up on the strand. He picked it up, dusted it off and at once, a genie appeared. “For joy, you have freed me!” cried the genie. “Ten thousand years I have spent in that bottle. For your pains, young man, I will gladly grant you three wishes for freeing me.”
“Can I have anything I want?” the drunk asked. “Yes, three things, anything you want!” the genie replied. “Think well now, before you cast your wishes. This is a once-in-a-lifetime, life-changing opportunity and you might consider all the implications and ramifications for yourself and everyone whom you love before you make your wishes.
“Oh WOW!” said the lust drunk dancing around in front of the genie. “WOW, WOW”, he cried. “I want a laptop. I want a laptop that never needs to be recharged, that never runs down; that is always connected, forever connected, unlimited connection, everywhere and anywhere, and will never break down, even if sand gets into it or salt water or whatever. And is always updated.”
In a flash, the laptop appeared. The lust drunk fell upon it and saw that it had the clearest picture he had ever seen, the most perfect internet connection ever, even though he was thousands of miles from anywhere. After two hours of crazed internet surfing, the battery was as full as ever; after hitting it into a tree trunk, after holding it under the salty sea water for ten minutes, the magical laptop did not just continue to work perfectly, but did not show signs of a single scratch. The lust drunk was overjoyed because it was clear that the device would last forever.
“Oh WOW, WOW!” he shouted, holding the laptop close to his breast. The genie looked at him then while the young man lost himself on another binge of lusting. After some time, the genie interrupted, reminding the lust drunk that he had two more wishes.
“Think carefully young man,” he said, “because your first wish has gone on a material thing. You might want to consider what might bring you peace, love, joy, real connection before making your next two wishes.”
Holding the laptop high in the air like a trophy, the drunk said, “No, I don’t have to think at all. I want two more of these!”
