My first meeting at the Sunday Night McLean Group (Virginia, USA) was nearly two years ago. At the time, the meeting was exclusively on Zoom. One of the older members messaged me and asked if I was a newcomer. I was too afraid and full of pride to be honest with him. I wasn’t sober then. I know I didn’t sound sober, either. He was just glad I was there. This has been my home group ever since.

Fourteen months later, this same fellow attended my wedding, accompanied by several members of the group that have been with me from those first meetings. If anyone were to ask one of those members if I sound the same now as I did at one year sober, one month sober, or not sober, I’m sure they would have a chuckle.

As a recovering sexaholic, I’m growing up. I’m discovering my voice. And with each new season, where I sound noticeably different, I’m made again into a newcomer. To me, a newcomer is not exclusively measured by inexperience with recovery or the length of one’s calendar sobriety. Rather, the newcomer can be an attitude of the heart. God is constantly revealing more to me as I continue to attend to my spiritual hunger.

Recovery is a foreign landscape, described at times as beautiful vistas, and others as a fog where I see nothing besides placing one foot in front of the other (SA 78). I’m a newcomer at each new phase of my development—phases that Sunday Night McLean have seen me through.

This group celebrated with me as I graduated college, supported me in a new marriage, connected with me as I wrestle with my understanding of a Higher Power, and grieved with me as I prepared to move across the country for my next endeavor.

The fellowship dinners at “Lazy Mike’s Deli” and sports arena-like cheering for sobriety chips are not only staples of my home group, but a glimpse of sober living. Our group is open-minded, willing, and honest. We currently have one meeting a month dedicated to studying the Traditions and Concepts to connect with a program greater than ourselves. We’re built for the newcomer. Any group built for the newcomer is a group built to last. Sunday Night McLean has welcomed me, the newcomer, with a grace that has helped inform my conception of God.