I just got back from the SA/S-Anon International Conventions in Los Angeles. This was the first International Convention in the United States since 2020, and the final registration count was 664! There were another 70 people around the world who joined sessions via livestream. Eleven countries were represented (including Kenya, Israel, and Belgium), 40 of the U.S. states, plus Puerto Rico and Washington D.C.

After finding my way to the large hotel that hosted the convention just down the street from the LAX airport, I got to my room, dropped my bags, and headed down to the ballroom level, hungry for both food and fellowship.

It was Friday night, and I had missed the opening speaker meeting, but I was curious about the “Birthday Celebration.” Numbers had thinned out, but we remained in the main ballroom as the leader announced the meeting’s format. He invited those with 30 days of sobriety but less than two months to come to the dais to share their first name, where they had traveled from, and their sobriety date. Each person was presented a beautiful challenge coin with the L.A. Convention logo on it. Before each person sat back down, they were to sign a fresh, new White Book at a nearby table.

Sixty days, six months, one year … two years, five years, nine years , … as each sobriety period was announced, a new group of convention goers would rise as the applause became successively more enthusiastic. When I went up with the ten-year chip takers, he called us the “new old-timers.” It felt strange to be an oldtimer, but I’ll do what I can to pass on what I’ve learned from the “old oldtimers.”

I felt my smile get bigger each time I clapped harder for the next group of sober conventioners. After we heard some wonderful ESH from the attendee with the longest sobriety (40 years!), the meeting leader invited up all those with 29 days of sobriety, then 28 days, etc. When they determined who had the very least amount of sobriety, they presented that individual with the clean White Book everyone had signed. By this time I was beaming and a little misty-eyed seeing these amazing individuals whose lives SA had changed so much and the promise and hope for the newcomers.

I was able to briefly chat with a few of these oldtimers, and it was quite meaningful to talk with people I’ve heard over and over again on SA speaker tapes. Through the rest of the weekend, I kept reaching into my pocket where I could feel my convention challenge coin, and I remembered all the emotions I felt in the Birthday Celebration meeting the first night.

After two early meetings on Saturday morning, I found the Fellowship Room where I heard there were snacks. I found both yummy snacks and nurturing fellowship there as I met a brother in another faith tradition. One of my favorite aspects of retreats and conferences is the warm fellowship with known and new brothers and sisters between meetings. At each meal, I was afforded a new friend in the Program. I now have a handful of phone numbers that connect to new friendly faces I can continue to connect with. As Roy K. used to say, “What a boon!”

With an SA brother from Canada I got to lead a meeting called, “Must I Believe in a Higher Power to be in SA?” I found myself thinking about it more deeply than I already had, and I wanted everyone to feel welcome in the Program regardless of whether they worship Shiva or Jesus, whether they believe in God or The Universe, and whether they regard Quantum Physics or the SA program as HP. I found myself saying in this meeting, “religious organizations will define Higher Power for you; the Twelve Steps will teach you to develop humility.” When we accept that we can each understand Higher Power differently, it’s the acceptance we each humbly surrender to Higher Power, regardless of how we define Higher Power, that brings such incredible unity into the Program and to each individual.

I was privileged (again) to give a reading in front of the entire assembly of around 600 people. I scanned the reading from the 12&12 beforehand and found it quite difficult to understand. Wow! How do I read this so it makes sense to everyone? This one sentence is so long! It spans 13 lines! I asked HP for help and walked up to the lectern ready to surrender and practice acceptance of whatever my best effort turned out to be.

The prepared copy at the microphone was full of typos and confusing spacing, but it still seemed to be flowing smoothly. Around the halfway point, I noticed emotion creeping into my voice. As the meaning of the written words sank deeper into my heart, I became more choked up. I had already accepted that whatever the outcome of this reading, it would be the will of Higher Power.

Miraculously, they seemed to understand me through tears of gratitude. As I read a long list of “permanent and legitimate satisfactions of right living”—benefits of living a life of recovery—many of which I realized had already been bestowed upon me, I felt that these words on the page were my very own. For these satisfactions and benefits, “no amount of pomp and circumstance, no heap of material possessions, could possibly be substitutes.” I can’t adequately describe how it felt with Higher Power speaking, not only to me but also through me to all those who were either preparing for or already living “usefully and walk[ing] humbly under the grace of God.” (12&12 124)

After leading a Sunday-morning meeting, it was time to choose which breakout meetings would finish out my last day of the convention. This is where I get excited about living this new life in SA. I’m learning to listen to my gut. When I feel clean, pure peace, I follow whatever idea I’m having. It’s like what I learn from the Big Book, “We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried [asking God for an intuitive thought or a decision, then relaxing and taking it easy]. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspira­tion gradually becomes a working part of the mind” (AA 86-87).

I scanned the remaining meetings and saw several descriptions of forgiveness. My mind said, No, you don’t need those meetings, but my gut felt clean and pure about them. I’m recognizing my mind’s lies so I followed my gut all that morning—and what a glorious morning it was! These meetings about forgiveness and ego (E.G.O.—Edging God Out) and how Higher Power sees me were all wonderful to me.

I’ve found that I have to work my Program even at these special events. That includes meditating, making phone calls, getting to the breakout meetings, praying away temptations to lust, checking in with my sponsor, and doing 10th-Step inventories and gratitude lists. I don’t have to make every breakout meeting. It’s important that I take breaks to keep my sanity; the sensory overload on me is real.

A big, special Thank You! to the organizers of the Los Angeles SA & S-Anon International Conventions!! I think I’ll be sorting out the awesome nuggets of recovery I found there for a while.

This report was a collaboration between two SA members and worded as if by a single person.