Recovery shows him the damage that swearing and sarcasm cause to others and to himself.

I most often raise my hand during SA meetings when a member’s share includes successive instances of swearing. I feel and see the pain in the speaker, and that pain projected at others in the room. I hear their self-hate and feel the words burying into my similarly wounded soul. I raise my hand and often take the member aside after the meeting to explain that their swearing reminds me of how cruel and disrespectful I was to myself and inadvertently to others around me.

Swear words have a razor-sharp capacity that can instantly destroy my serenity. If I take swear words in, I soon find myself using them. For me, swearing is contagious and an explicit sign of my addiction. When new in Program, I was depressed, angry, and full of fear. I projected my anger with swear words and cutting sarcasm. Through much step work and sponsor-sponsee dialogue, I learned that swearing arises from shame, guilt, and my sense of inadequacy. My addiction is self-destructive; one of the primary signs of that self-destruction was my swearing. I became aware that swearing was about belittling and disrespecting things, places, and people—even the other listeners in the room. Most importantly, I realized that I aimed a double dose inward at myself. Today, when I feel myself accepting swear words, I armour up to protect my serenity.

I am powerless over my muttering—negative judgements; it is a learned and habitual defect and reflects a deep-seated destructive disposition. For me, self-flagellation is self-destructive, is dangerous to every member in the Fellowship, and is not a sign of recovery. Today, my outward swearing is no longer as profuse; however, swearing silently under my breath is still a challenge. I don’t know where the words come from at times. When things don’t go my way, swear words automatically arise. Learning to forgive and love myself is essential. Today, thanks to my HP and recovery work, I notice and surrender the words and make amends, most often after the cursing and nashing of teeth have occurred. I keep asking my HP to help, and I keep coming back because I need the SA program to learn to live in the world positively, a way of loving self and others.