Thank you for your program. It is like the lyrics of the song “Amazing Grace.” SA is what has saved me, but I wish I could have found it sooner. I molested my first child at the age of 21 and am now 41. Usually it has just been touching but the things I did to my step-daughter are horrendous. I always prayed for God to stop that behavior, but I didn’t realize how messed up my whole sexual life was until I found SA and found that I needed to stop it all, not just part.

I am currently in prison. During my sex offenders treatment program I realized that without SA and my sobriety, I would have still been feeding my mind with lust, fantasy, and masturbation, and wouldn’t have been as open to the changes I need to make to better my life. I am looking forward to a lots better life when released. I have told several here about my past and most couldn’t believe I have done some of the things I told them. The ones closest to me believe it but also believe the changes that SA has made in my life. I started going to AA and NA meetings here to stay involved with a 12-step program and at first was embarrassed to share, but because of my honesty and the shame I have, I have been accepted. Lots of the addictive behaviors are the same in all of us, so I am learning from them and they from me.

The sex offenders program changed hands. The new company is using the 12 Steps but very few of the inmates I have talked to like it. I guess that’s because maybe they haven’t hit the bottom that I have and still don’t want to admit that they have a problem. I guess all I can do is show them the changes it has made in my life and can and will in their lives if they work the program.

The Serenity Prayer has meant a lot to me while incarcerated. There isn’t much here that I have control of except my own actions, attitudes and behaviors, and I am trying to change them daily. Another thought I keep in mind is “If you ever want to see a rainbow, you have to stand a little rain.” The rain is the pain from the shame of my past and being incarcerated, while the rainbow is the changes I am making towards a better life ahead. Thanks to my Higher Power (God) and my SA program. Also thanks to the Kansas City group whose letters have helped to keep me going. One day at a time.