This proposal calls for SA meetings where we can relax the rule against crosstalk and allow feedback. Members could invite some SA friends together and outline a problem they are having — how to make a difficult amends, for instance, or what to tell the children — and ask for feedback. In this way we could put into practice what otherwise are just meeting topics — honesty, trust, openmindedness — and solve problems. In addition to sharing insight and knowledge, we would share experience, strength and hope, and solve common problems.

Of course having a problem should not be a prerequisite for attending a meeting. The new meeting would include time for prayer, and periods of silence, if desired.

The idea is to put God and Program back into the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous. Often it seems that the regular SA meeting is not the primary tool of recovery for SAs. Judging by the large number of SAs in therapy, some of us are more comfortable talking about life problems one-on-one with someone outside the program. Regardless of our good motives and the benefits of therapy, the spiritual consequences of this are not good for our meetings.

Sometimes we seem to have it all back to front. If the early AAs are our guides, then it’s SA that should be carrying the message to the therapists and the judges and the clergy, making amends for the lies we told them and the trouble we caused, and telling them of the freedom we found in Sexaholics Anonymous. Somehow it’s hard to imagine the early AA members going back to whatever they tried before they discovered AA, be it medical remedies or religion, unless it was to carry the message of their recovery.

This proposal may appeal to those of us that are looking for deeper fellowship at whatever price to our ego, who are not interested in crusading against therapy, or religion, or anything else; and who have enough sexual sobriety and have seen enough miracles to have an inkling of the potential for growth in spiritual fellowship. It is directed to those that are prepared to ask God for a lot of help, and the courage to use that help when it is given.