I recently attended an open-mike SA/S-Anon meeting. I was looking forward to hearing experience, strength and hope from both groups. As I settled in to listen, however, an SA member approached the mike. He spoke about his childhood, his feelings of not fitting anywhere and his unhappiness with his life before recovery.

He then began to share in what felt to me to be a graphic way, some of his sexual compulsions and what he did to victimize others. I felt totally powerless in this meeting. I wanted him to stop sharing in such detail, and I was not sure of the appropriate thing to do.

I was told that SAs can raise their hand if the language and/or graphic details were a trigger for someone. I wasn’t sure if that also applied to me as an S-Anon.

I felt I needed to take care of myself at that point, so I ended up walking out of the meeting. I discussed this with some other S-Anons and they felt the same way. They also found the descriptions to be too specific but were unsure what to do. Graphic descriptions of molestation of children, voyeurism, rape and other forms of acting out can be painful triggers for S-Anons. I hope that the sign of raising one’s hand to signify discomfort with the sharing can be used as a universal tool for both programs.