The Millvale Group in Summerside is one of two groups on Prince Edward Island, Canada. We have approximately 15 members who attend regularly.

Recently one of our long-term members was having trouble keeping his sobriety. This was very frustrating for him, for the group and for his sponsor. With his permission, I had a conversation with Roy K. about this matter. Roy K. suggested that our group have a “check meeting” with this person. This was new to us, but it was explained that a check meeting is a small meeting with several sober members and the person who is slipping. The purpose of this meeting is to approach and listen to the person in a compassionate way in order to understand the background of his slipping. Next, based on the experience, strength and hope of the sober members, we identify unhealthy attitudes, question behaviors, offer suggestions and give advice. Afterwards, the member in trouble stays close to this small group and checks in every day for a period of time or until the member gets on his feet with a reasonable period of sobriety.

We were not comfortable with this approach so we asked Roy K. if he and a couple of other members from his group would join us via speakerphone, and he agreed. The check meeting was made up of three members from Simi Valley and three members from the Millvale group and the member who was slipping. This member was willing to go to any length to get sober and was willing to test out this idea of a check meeting. The evening proved to be a wonderful experience for our group and very rewarding for all of us. The meeting opened and closed with prayer and in between, there was gut-wrenching honesty and powerful sharing and listening. Even with the speakerphone, the meeting was very intimate. When it was all over, it was hard to say goodbye.

This is another example of people who would normally never meet — especially since we are from two different countries and two different sides of the continent — coming together to help another sexaholic.

The other good news was the success of bringing sexaholics together using a speakerphone — an inexpensive device that connects to a telephone. We are the only SA members east of Quebec and north of Maine and there were times when we felt isolated from SA as a whole. It would be great if we could hook up with another group by speakerphone for a SA meeting. We could learn from each other. The cost for an hour-long meeting would be reasonable and could be shared by the two groups.

If you’re a loner, this could be a way to get close to other sexaholics.