One Year. Through no particular fault of my own, I recently celebrated one year of SA sobriety—one year of celibacy.

I can never be sufficiently gratefully to God, my therapists, SA, and my fellow addicts for enabling me to get this far. But, I do have to remind myself that one year is only a GOOD START. I need 39 more years before I will have been sober for as long as I spent acting out.

I would like to share with you some numbers related to a year’s sobriety for me. Others may have found that length of sobriety in a softer, gentler way, but for me it took all of the following:

• One International SA Convention
• Two-day sexual addiction conference in Baltimore
• Three-day conference for professionals with “S” boundary problems at a university School of Medicine
• Five full-day SA marathons (NJ, Ohio, Wheeling, and Philadelphia)
• 26 church services
• 43 hours of outpatient therapy
• 45 days of inpatient therapy
• 60 hours spent listening to SA tapes
• 80 occasions of fellowship with SA members
• 100 times reviewing my gratitude list
• 150 days in which I did significant recovery-related reading
• 160 days that I sent recovery-related email
• 200 days of morning meditation
• 362 Twelve Step meetings attended
• 1,000 phone calls to recovery brothers
• 17,448 miles flown to recovery-related events
• 22,285 affirmations said aloud
• 32,501 miles driven to recovery-related locations
• 47,000 dollars directly spent on therapy and recovery

There are also some negative numbers associated with the past year:

• One marriage lost
• Two kids who don’t have a father living with them
• Six hours spent doing formal Step work
• 150,000 dollars spent on legal fees
• 180,000 dollars per year I would be earning without my addiction
• 200,000 dollars still owed to the federal government

Some Lessons Learned

• I ain’t cured yet. I never will be. But I can continue to stay sober one day at a time with the help of God, the SA program, my therapist, and my fellow addicts. I cannot defeat this addiction. I can only surrender it to God and the program and let Him take it away from me.

• I don’t understand God. I never will. I don’t have to. But I can still use His power to guide me.

• Many of the recovery clichés ring true for me. I especially have been helped by:
  • Meeting-makers make it.
  • It works if you work it.
  • Think through the drink.
  • One day (hour/minute/second) at a time.
  • Fake it ’til you make it.
  • My disease is cunning, baffling, powerful and PATIENT.
  • Be careful of HALTS (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Sick—or Stressed).
  • Surrender to win.
  • I can pray longer than I can lust.

Plans for Next Year

• Meetings/Meetings/Meetings/Meetings/Meetings
• More Step work
• More helping other addicts
• Continuing therapy
• Putting my recovery first in my life, remembering that if I lose my recovery, I will also lose that which I have put ahead of my recovery.
• Keep reminding myself that I have a forgetting disease. I can’t afford to forget the pain my disease has caused me and can cause me again.

Thanks to all of you who have reached out and held my hand as I have trudged the Road of Happy Destiny.