When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away (AA 417).

In early recovery I was terrified of my lust. It led me to cause great harm in my life, destroyed my career, nearly destroyed my family, caused a great deal of public shame and embarrassment for my wife and me, and cost a lot of money. I found that when lust came up, my fear made me fight lust, and that made the lust stronger.

Even if I tried not to lust, I was still focused on it, just in a negative way. I was doing “anti-lust,” and it didn’t work; my lust still grew. When I focused on the solution, which is my relationship with my Higher Power, lust decreased. While I’m not in the problem, it’s not the same as being in the solution. The “anti-problem” does not create serenity for me, and when I’m in the anti-problem, the problem does not go away.

For me, the purpose of maintaining my spiritual condition must be so that I have something to give away. My program has to be about you. In the anti-problem, I lose track of that attitude and go back to thinking that it’s all about me. When I am helpful to others, when I am of service, when I give freely from the heart without resentment, fear, or expectation, I am practicing these principles in all my affairs. Then I truly have the solution and, as it grows, I gain serenity, joy and freedom from the bondage of self. I like it. It feels good.

Help me to remember that You are the solution and that what I do for others, I do for You.