I recently read a book that describes how our consumer society works. The author suggests that we are manipulated into believing we have personal value by what we own. Our identity is linked to what we possess and by how others judge us through these objects. He makes a great observation: This consumerism is never-ending because trying to find ourselves through things doesn’t work. The false identity we seek through things is short-lived, so we keep looking for more, keep buying, and keep consuming. We never arrive at a point where we are finally satisfied, where we have enough. The goal posts keep moving.

As I read this, it occurred to me that this is the same lie that my lust always tries to get me to buy. When I become obsessed with a person through my lust, I develop a subtle belief that this other person will make me happy, or as stated in Sexaholics Anonymous, make me whole. Yet my whole life is a history of how this has never happened. Even when I did develop a relationship with another person (based on lust) one of two things would occur: Either I was driven to become increasingly involved with the person, no matter how inappropriate or dangerous it might become, or I became disillusioned, arriving at a sense of “Is that all there is?” before moving on to another relationship.

But lust has no more power to make me feel complete than the car I drive or the clothes I wear. This is a hard lesson for me to learn. Accepting this truth will be a life-long process. The SA program of recovery and my union with my Higher Power are the only real answers. My hope is that I am gradually growing in this awareness of my attachments to lust and material possessions. In time I hope to become freer of the potential hold they have over me; to focus instead on growth in the areas of gratitude and humility. I resolve to redirect my focus when I buy into those old lies.