A New Vocation

Though I did not know Roy personally, I was deeply moved by the news of his death. I heard him speak once at an International Convention in New Jersey and I liked him: a dignified-looking older gentleman. Roy’s passing reminds me of the great gift SA has been in my life, a gift which I would not have today were it not for this man.

I started my recovery journey in another S-fellowship, but it was in SA that I saw real pain and real honesty, and I knew SA was for me. I got sober in June of 1999 after I finally hit my bottom. What followed was a gift beyond gifts: continued sobriety while working the Steps. What beautiful first months and years of recovery those were: the one-day marathons in nearby cities, the friends I made, and the ups and downs of getting sober. The gift of discovering myself—my feelings and desires—for the first time without my drug.

Two and a half years into my sobriety, God began to address other areas of my life that needed to change, especially my vocation. God made it clear to me that He wanted me to get involved with Church. This made little sense to me because I had no faith in the Church message—but I wanted to be a part of the spiritual community. I was attracted to the ritual, the Scriptures, the different kinds of people with their flaws and virtues. It seemed much like an SA family, but different. Then I attended a retreat for young professionals, where I encountered the Higher Power I had been running from. After that weekend, I felt a shift that would push me into a new life.

I clung to my SA involvement: service work as well as keeping up with SA friends, my sponsor, my AA group, and my SA meetings. But with all this effort I was only maintaining sobriety. God wanted to work on another area of my life, and until I let Him, there would be no real progress. Still, my SA activity, meetings, and service kept me on track to finally make the great surrender of my life and turn my vocation and career over to God.

I had almost five years of sobriety and was ready for a relationship with a woman. I finally had an appreciation for marriage and a respect for family life. But as I prayed, I began to sense God calling me to a radical life of celibacy and ministry as a priest. This was not easy, but when I said “yes,” I began a new life. I quit my job of five years and entered the seminary.

At first, I found that I was hopelessly behind the other seminary students both socially and emotionally. It took much grace, psychological work, and miracles just to survive. But six years later, I am on the verge of completing seminary and being ordained a Catholic priest. Though I cannot now attend recovery meetings, I continue to work on recovery through the ESSAY newsletter, other SA literature, and an occasional SA contact. I thank God every day for keeping me sober for one more day and ask to stay sober during the night. Sobriety remains the bottom line in my life—without sobriety I could not function in the role God has for me.

Today I thank God for SA and for Roy K., who founded the program that allowed all this wonderful change in my life. Without Roy there would have been no SA as I knew it and perhaps there would have been no recovery, or sobriety, for me. Thank you, Roy. May you rest in peace.

Anonymous

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