I’m Leo, a sexaholic, just back from the fourth annual convention of the Russian-speaking fellowship in Moscow, held October 31 to November 2. This was the second one I’ve attended. Although I’ve been in SA for 10 years, I haven’t been able to stay sober. The fellowship gives me acceptance and support, but I’m not always honest or consistent. I’ll work the program and then pull away. So I decided to attend this recent convention, remembering how much the first one had inspired me.

Forty-seven people from Russia and Belarus attended. The program included Step meetings, public First Steps, and an open meeting for inquirers. Long-term sober members shared their experience. We celebrated the 15th anniversary of SA in Russia.

I decided to approach working the Steps there like a scientific experiment, without prejudgment. Could the program really benefit me today? Initially I felt anxious and alone. But as I worked the Steps, my heart began to change.

After giving away my First Step, I discovered that I had forgotten much of my history. My story sometimes strikes me not as painful, but as a fun adventure. Only when I’m honest can I clearly see my insanity. This First Step experience was truly sobering and helped me return to reality.

When I worked Step Two, my eyes opened a bit further. Then Step Three gave me new hope. I felt grateful that God has appeared in my life, although I still struggle with discontentment and mistrust toward Him. But how can I expect to gain sobriety if I can’t believe in God? I had to set aside my old ideas about God and find new ones that could lead to a change in me. This was a moment of rebirth!

Suddenly, members who once seemed distant now seemed dear to me. Just yesterday I was ready to fight with others for my portion of love, looking down my nose at them. But now I wanted to help them however I could. I felt warm feelings toward people I barely knew. I felt lightness and sensed light.

That evening after I worked on Steps Four and Five, a member said something that bothered me. I could resent and act out, or I could choose to work the Steps and reach forgiveness. I chose working the Steps—and miraculously, the resentment disappeared. I not only talked with the “offender,” but I discovered that he was really a great guy! Another miracle. I will never forget this encounter, where each one could open up and be understood and accepted.

This convention was a turning point for me. I found new connections with God and others. I no longer need proof that I’m exceptional. Instead I want to look for what unites us and to help others and see our fellowship grow. I would like to remain sober and recover, and for this I need the support of my fellows.

Thanks to the organizers who made this unique gathering possible.