Holidays Then and Now

Sexaholism drove my view of holidays in the past. I hated them; they always took the focus away from my misery. When I couldn’t have my misery, I surely gave it away freely. Everyone around me was irritable, restless and discontent!

I Used To:	Today I:
Grieve the loss of what I didn’t have	Rejoice in the all the miracles around me
Be impatient for family to leave or for me to get home	Bless the fact that we can all be together
Get angry at my kid’s selfishness	Feel blessed that he has a wonderful life
Stew with vehemence that I didn’t get what I wanted	Bask in the warmth from joy of the pleasure of others
Feel remorse about stealthing out for a quick fix	Feel fulfilled with the warmth of family and friends
Resign myself to being bored	Arise with excitement to find out what’s coming next
Hate God for not bringing peace to the world	Thank God for His love and ask what I can do for my fellows
Ridicule others for their blind and bigoted beliefs	Share the joy of the Spirit and Love of the season
Mourn the past that it was not what I wanted it to be and try to control the future to be better for me	Feel the grace of the moment and give thanks for all the outside pressures that shape my day

This year, I reflected on how I used to react to holidays and how I react today. In Recovery, I have joy and hope each holiday season and a desire to be near the ones I love. It is only by the Grace of the Spirit of the Universe, God as I understand God, that I am able to be the citizen, the father, the husband, the brother that I am supposed to be. Not as I see myself, but as I let God mold me.

Peace on earth and serenity to all. Blessings.

Anonymous, Portland, OR

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