The Spiritual Aspects of Sexual Addiction

Recently I asked the Illinois Department of Corrections for permission to start a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting. They denied my request, saying that they use a research-based model in the treatment of addictions. I was dismayed. While there are many components in an addiction, there definitely is a spiritual aspect. Can research be made on a process that takes place in the heart? My decision to be sober is in part a choice of my Higher Power’s will over my own lustful desires.

Reflecting back in my life to when lust took over, I see that lust colored my every thought. Would my actions get me closer to acting out? Would what I planned to do bring me closer to indulging lust? In my behavior, I was controlled by lust. What was driving my lust? The insights of Alcoholics Anonymous are helpful:

“The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success… Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show… Our actor is self-centered—ego-centric… Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles….” (AA 60-62)

There came a time when I would pay any price in order to indulge my lust. Boundaries were blown away. My will and my morals were paper before the wind of my self-will. How can any behavioral treatment touch me when the source of my will and my desires are corrupt? My essence and my spirit must be addressed for behavioral and peer-related therapies to have a basis for working. There must be a power outside of self to whom I give myself. With sensitivity to various religious and historical differences, 12 Step Programs like SA refer to this spiritual Source as “Higher Power.” My Higher Power may not be the same as yours, but it must be someone other than “Ourselves.”

Once I have given my will and my whole life to my Higher Power, sobriety becomes possible for me. This means working Steps Four through Twelve. While programs and counselors may be able to touch on the truths embodied in these Steps, for me help came from working the Twelve Steps.

The sobriety definition of SA taught me that keeping lust out of my life means excluding masturbation. I surrender to my Higher Power character defects including shame, resentments, fears and lust temptations, and I receive in return a sober mind, spirit and body. I make amends to people I have harmed. I reflect on my behavior each day. I have a concern for those still suffering from sexual addiction and want to carry the message to them. Above all, I maintain a daily connection with my Higher Power, and make sure my self-will does not usurp my Higher Power in my life. Research-based treatments can help some individuals. I must be convinced that “I am not God.” The foundational source of my health and my sobriety is my Higher Power. Sexaholics Anonymous has been a lifeline for me.