Filling Your Emotional Cup With Safe People

Below is what I shared with a lady in the fellowship who felt attracted to a man in a mixed meeting:

“Well, it’s a healthy thing that you recognize the things you like about him: his voice, personality, and maybe other things. List out all those things that you like and that you feel you get from that interaction, even though you think it’s not reciprocal.

Then make another list of people—both men and women, that you know have these qualities too. But only list safe people, that way you’re not just transferring the emotions. Then list the days that you can connect with those people to fill up your emotional cup.

Simply staying away from the meeting will not help. You might be in denial about having unmet needs that are driving you to want that person. By acknowledging that you need other people, and giving yourself permission to connect to those other (safe) people, the obsession will loosen its grip.”

Rina R., New Jersey, USA

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