The words of Step Two roll off my lips. “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” They are so easy to repeat. I think, “Of course I believe in a Higher Power, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.” I ask myself, “Really?”

Am I trusting my Higher Power that if I let go of this lust temptation, everything will be alright? Am I actually willing to give up what my lust is seeking? Am I trusting myself or my Higher Power?

To be honest, I need to ask myself these questions. I have been physically sober for a number of years, but my sobriety still hinges on my making a complete surrender of each and every lust temptation.

At times, I have played with temptation. By playing, I mean that I didn’t surrender it right away. I doubted whether it would be all that harmful to indulge it. In my sane sober consideration, I know this is dangerous. I know that I cannot indulge lust a tiny bit, not even a millimeter.

For me, it comes down to TRUST in my Higher Power. Last night I watched part of a movie and turned the TV off when it was getting late. This morning I found myself thinking lustful thoughts about the actress in the movie. I knew I would have to let the movie go. I wanted to see the end of the movie, but that was not as important as staying sober. I turned to my Higher Power and surrendered that movie, trusting that it would be all right to give up something that I wanted for the sake of what was most important, my sobriety. When I say, “Your will, not mine, be done,” I trust that everything will work out all right as I trust my Higher Power.