Dear ESSAY

The Benefits of In-Person Meetings

I joined SA in pandemic times, two years ago, which was a good thing in one way, as there were very many daily Zoom meetings available. This was crucial to safeguarding my physical sobriety, countless times. I got something of a reputation as a strange Brit, who showed up at all hours of the night in USA meetings, for this reason. I saw it as going to any lengths.

However, I do find that attending my home group in-person has far more benefit for my recovery. I feel a real connection with my fellows at an in-person meeting, with the others’ physical presence, non-verbal language, readily exchanged glances and smiles, which I just can’t get on Zoom. Let alone the informal fellowship after the meeting ends.

In my case, this is not at all easy to get. I live a 70 minutes train journey from the only SA group meeting in-person I am aware of in my county. It is a late evening meeting, so attendance means an hotel room, and a train home the next day. It’s an unsafe area here for me to get home very late at night. So it’s a real commitment. And I am female, and all the other members are male.

But it means so much to me to attend in-person, not just via hybrid link, approximately every month or two, that I undertake the real financial and time sacrifice entailed. Once a month, the group has dinner in a local restaurant, before the meeting. We book a table, for the distant members like me to spend time with the local group in fellowship.

The first time I attended the meeting in-person, fairly newly sober, I stared at the floor the whole time. But it got more comfortable, steadily, and now I feel at home there. I have no issues at all with being the only woman in the group. They treat me like a blood sister, and there is no lust on any part, as far as I know.

When I first attended the group’s annual Recovery Day, in-person, with many members there all day – after 4 months of multiple daily Zoom meetings – I burst into tears, and said, “I have joined SA today: until now, I have just been floundering around in my own front room”. That’s what meeting in-person means to me.