There was a time when I wondered why God brought me into this world. I always felt that my life was meaningless. I had such difficulty fitting in and belonging anywhere. My childhood was very difficult, full of traumas. I could never understand why I had to go through it all or what purpose all that pain served. Lust entered my life at age six when a family member sexually abused me. It was not a single incident; the abuse continued many times by that same person. The experience was very strange. I find it hard to describe; it was full of mixed feelings, but one of the most difficult to understand was the feeling of enjoyment I remember during the abuse. Soon, one of my relatives began to sexually abuse me too, many times. I think that it was about this time that I started confusing love with abuse. Around this same age I came across foreign nude magazines and began watching pornography.

Ayman M, Alexandria, Egypt