In Loving Memory of David M.

In Loving Memory of David M.


David M., my grandpa sponsor, just passed away after struggling with cancer for some years. You would never guess he had cancer because he never complained. For me, he was the embodiment of Tradition Two, “Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.”

Some of you might know him from the Portland noon meeting, the attendance of which went global and exploded during the pandemic.

I would not be here without David M. He was my counselor, my ex-wife’s counselor, our marriage counselor, the frequent chair of the S-Anon and SA couples meeting, and my sponsor’s sponsor. He guided me on many things through his “ESH” and through his example.

David M. was twice the editor of this magazine for many years, and helped author our program texts. He helped Roy move Central Office from Simi Valley, California to Nashville, Tennessee. He served in every local group, intergroup, and region he was involved in, and ultimately a Delegate to the GDA. The only trusted servant position he never held was Trustee. He established SA in Portland Oregon. He sponsored over a thousand men and some women in SA (among whom Dave T.). He counseled SA/S-Anon couples (non-sponsees) through their early recovery. He spoke numerous times at international,
regional, and local SA gatherings.

The first time I saw him, in a meeting in downtown Portland, he introduced himself as “David, sexaholic. I just saw three crotches walking toward me as I was entering the meeting place].” I thought he was not sober. I have now come to realize his share was a shining example of an oldtimer who knew how to drop lust instantly and “tell on himself.” I was not capable of that kind of self-honesty then, or even of recognizing it.

Given that David was one of the shapers of SA, the fact that most SA members do not know him is a testament to his unique humility and practice of anonymity. He will be missed by many.

Mike M., Taiwan/USA

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