He stood at the turning point of his inventory and abandoned himself to God through complete honesty. 

Hi guys, I’m Abhinav, a grateful recovering lust addict and sexoholic, sober today one day at a time (ODAAT)  from August 15 of this year by the grace of God. 

I started my journey with SA in April 2023, when a close person in my faith tradition suggested I attend a Twelve-Step program for my compulsive masturbation problem. 

I have been a chronic relapser from the time I started working the Program, with my longest length of sobriety being 37 days. If I look at myself, I was never rigorously honest with anybody, even after coming to SA and working the Steps. That doesn’t mean I was completely dishonest. No, I am honest but only partially, making half-measures. As the AA Big Book says, “Half measures availed [me] nothing” (AA 59).

After going through many relapses, troubles, depression, and suicidal ideations, something changed in my attitude this year. I sat down with my God and I wrote down an honest, teary letter to him describing my situation and begging for His mercy. I was never honest to that extent in my life, and in that process of writing, God changed something inside me. 

God brought about in me a change in my character that I could never have brought about in myself. I started to be more honest in my shares. Most importantly, I started to be completely honest with God, myself, and my sponsor. 

Around the same time, I was working on Step Six again with my sponsor, and he suggested I take an in-depth inventory this time. While writing that inventory slowly and gradually, I started to become more honest with myself and the God of my life. 

If you ask me about my life now, it’s no less than a miracle, and who’s doing that miracle: my loving God. God did for me what I couldn’t do for myself. Thank you so much, God. Thank you for letting me share.