Requests for Feedback, and Responses

In the last issue of Essay, we published requests for feedback from groups that are experiencing problems or have questions about the way in which meetings should be run. R.B. in Wichita Falls wrote asking how other groups address the problem of a high rate of dropouts, and J.B. in Chicago wrote asking how other groups manage to give everyone enough time to speak. Robin P. of Hodgkins, IL offered suggestions to both of these groups, which are printed below. And Harvey A. from Nashville raises a question concerning the sixth tradition. If your group would like to request feedback from others on some question concerning the traditions, or the way in which meetings are run, or if you would like to offer feedback, write to us care of the Central Office.

To R.B. in Wichita Falls, Texas: Based on the experience I have had personally, and the experience of other 12-step programs, a certain amount of slippage and dropout is inclined to happen… The only thing that I can suggest (and this is based on my own experience, and solely on my own experience) is that if you have a way of getting in touch with “drop-outs,” such as via the telephone, give them an occasional call just to let them know you care… Stick to messages which indicate you care, rather than coercive messages which would be read as twisting the arm of the newcomer… Refrain from the offering of advice. I know that when I sense that people genuinely care about me as a person…then I am much more inclined to go back to meetings than if the meetings seemed to be filled with those out to emphasize a cult-like adherence to a certain way of working the program or gaining members.

To J.B. in Chicago, IL: That problem sounds familiar from my own 12-step group! I, too, often feel cheated of speaking time at meetings. My personal suggestion would be, if you have sufficient physical space at your meeting place, to split up into four mini-groups after your preliminary readings.

I have a tradition question that I would like some help on. We were printing up a new schedule that will be able to fit in people’s wallets. In printing it up as we have done before, we are including when the S-Anon meetings will meet…I have seen this done in other parts of the country concerning AA and Al-Anon and since we have been doing it here for the past few years, I have taken it for granted that this is an acceptable approach. However, I have lately been concerned with our 6th tradition and hope that we are not breaking the tradition by affiliating with or endorsing another group… I see [SA and S-Anon] as all part of the same program. But if I am under reading this, please give me your feedback on it.